My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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