I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
