Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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