Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize