Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
