Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
