Got a toothbrush?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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