As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So vagazzling was a success
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
