you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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