Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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