doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
