woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
