THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
