I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
