pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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