I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
