So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
