I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
