I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
