We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Randomize