No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
