yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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