I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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