they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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