in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
