only if we run a train.
done.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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