Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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