At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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