They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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