i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize