Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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