I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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