everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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