508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
