I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
