So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize