The maid of honor just puked.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Who died my cat blue again?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
