i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I wish I only lived at night.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
