3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Randomize
