Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize