now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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