If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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