I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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