you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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