well most of my day revolves around power hour
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
