There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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