Who wears a wallet chain?!
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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