How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
