he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
organizing the empties. That sober.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Randomize
