Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
