I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Be still, my beating vagina.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
