Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
honey bunches of taint.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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