Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
