it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
