bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
