Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
