Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
