wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
