It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
