real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
