I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize