Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
