Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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