Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
