I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
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