Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
