I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
