Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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