they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
