There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
