its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
